In recent years, there has been this trend on YouTube where parents give their kids a snack and tell them not to eat it until the parents say so. The parents walk away for a few minutes and leave the child with the snack to see if they are going to follow the parents’ instruction, practise restraint and wait until the parents come back and give them the go ahead to do it. In these videos, you can see that it takes everything for these kids not to just eat the snack. If the child has not eaten the snack by the time the parents return, they are given a bigger snack or more snacks as a reward for their delayed gratification. This is not just a social media trend, this is a modern day play of a study called the Stanford Marshmallow Experiment which sought to show the impact of delayed gratification.

Let me just say this, I am glad that my parents didn’t tempt test me with this because 1. I love food so you already know that the snack would be in my mouth before my parents turned the corner and 2. I don’t like waiting. In fact, in the fruit of the Spirit list in Galatians 5:22-23, the two that I struggle with the most are patience and self-control (both of which are tested in the above experiment😂)

Let’s dive deeper,

Waiting is frustrating. Waiting for the traffic lights to turn green, waiting for your food to be brought to you, whether at a restaurant or when you’ve ordered online, waiting to see your doctor, you name it. While these types of waiting that I’ve mentioned might be bearable, what happens when the things that you are waiting for have the potential of being life changing, ground breaking, heart shattering, generation changing and in some cases they are actually life or death situations? Waiting for the miracle of a child, waiting for a job after graduation, waiting for that loved one to get healed or accept Jesus into their life. Whatever it may be, most of us have (or will) experience difficult waiting seasons

Most of us do not willingly choose to wait for stuff. Life kinda forces us to. When the outcome we expected does not come, when the timeframe we anticipated seems delayed, when the expectation we have does not match the reality we are living in. I’ve had my fair share of waiting seasons in my life, some that I’ve shared here (check out these two posts – Bible Time and The Wait is cool). If you have lived any length of time, then you know that waiting seasons are not just a one and done situation. In this lifetime, we will find ourselves waiting for one thing or another.

I am currently in a waiting season that has been very hard to say the least. To be honest, I am not one who likes talking about what I’m going through while I am going through it. I am the kind of person who likes to wait until the hard season is over and share my testimony after. However, I feel very strongly that God is leading me to share the weight of my current waiting season while I am in it.

Unlike other waiting seasons I’ve had, this one has been DRAINING! Emotionally, I’ve found myself juggling so many emotions all at once – fear and faith, belief and unbelief, doubt and hope, disappointment and delight. Waking up with so much joy then going to sleep with so much sorrow. Smiling at the beginning of a song I’m listening to then crying by the end of it. Reading a Bible verse about hope but feeling like I have none in me.

Physically, I have found myself getting insomnia (and if you know me then you know how much I love sleeping), getting fatigued very easily and losing my appetite. Socially, I have been getting drained faster than normal whenever I spend a lot of time around people. I am an introvert so on a normal day my social battery is easily depleted, however, I am usually able to maintain my energy when I am around people I love and care about. In this season however, I have discovered that I get uneasy and easily anxious and have to retreat from family and friends and be alone. Spiritually, I have found it hard to pray at times and my conversations with God have taken different forms, sometimes just a sigh and then I say Amen, or I read a Psalm before bed, or I listen to a song and present my tears to God.

This is what I call THE WEIGHT OF THE WAIT. Proverbs 13:12 describes it better than I ever could:

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life

In different times in this waiting season, I have found solace in the stories of some men and women in the Bible who are known for their waiting seasons (we can call them ‘the Waiters’)

• Abraham and Sarah – If there is anyone who deserves the trophy for waiting, it would be these two. I mean, waiting to become parents until you get to the age of most great-grandparents? Then God calls you to sacrifice the very thing you spent so long waiting for?
• Joseph – True definition of when the vision God gives you doesn’t match the reality of the season you are walking through. Then add on to it jealous brothers, a tempting woman and betraying prison friends. Whooosh!!!
• Hannah – Imagine praying over and over for a child, to the point that you look drunk? To the point that your prayers are reduced to just your lips moving and no sound actually coming out?
• David – Getting anointed but having to wait to get appointed
• Jesus – Waiting until He was 30 to begin the very ministry He was sent to earth for.

While we know how their stories ended, I wonder how hard it was to wake up day after day, month after month, and year after year, making the conscious decision to trust God to answer their prayers but feeling disappointed when He didn’t. The stories of these “waiters” encourages me that the waiting is worth it when God is in it. I’m sure if I was to sit down and talk to all these people, they would tell me in great detail how heavy the weight of the wait was. But they won’t just stop there, they would also tell me the rewards they got from waiting. Like physical training, these men and women would show me the muscles they built from constantly lifting the weights of their waits.

So, how do you hold on to faith when it feels like life is breaking your heart? I’m sorry to say but I don’t have a definite success-guaranteed answer to this. However, during my current waiting season, I have learnt (and I’m still learning) 3 different perspectives that are helping me carry the weight:

1. Perspective of God’s greatness

Growing up in church, I was taught different names of God based on the different things He does. I know Him as Jehovah Jireh – my provider, I know Him as Jehovah Rapha – my healer, I know Him as Jehovah Sabaoth – my defender, and many more. I have leaned into and relied on these attributes of God during various seasons of my life. And while all of these describe God perfectly, this current season I am walking through has allowed me to redefine my perspective on who God is, not just based on what He does.

See, God is not great because He does great things. He is great period! His greatness is not increased or diminished by Him answering our prayers in the way we want. If He never did any other great thing, He would still be great. This perspective has allowed me to learn how to worship Him for who He is and not just for what I want Him to do for me.

I have been meditating on Revelation 4 recently, and have specifically dwelled on verses 8 – 11

Each of the four living creatures had six wings and was covered with eyes all around, even under its wings. Day and night they never stop saying:
“ ‘Holy, holy, holy
is the Lord God Almighty,’
who was, and is, and is to come.”
Whenever the living creatures give glory, honor and thanks to him who sits on the throne and who lives for ever and ever, the twenty-four elders fall down before him who sits on the throne and worship him who lives for ever and ever. They lay their crowns before the throne and say:
“You are worthy, our Lord and God,
to receive glory and honor and power,
for you created all things,
and by your will they were created
and have their being.”

Doesn’t matter what the situation on earth is, in heaven, day and night, the four living creatures and the twenty-four elders cannot stop proclaiming that God is holy and He is worthy. Being in God’s presence and gazing upon His greatness brings them to a posture of worship and surrender, over and over again. I truly want to have this posture of worship, whether God answers my prayers the way I want or not.

2. Perspective of God’s comforting presence

Psalms 46:1 reminds us that;

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in times of trouble.

I don’t know about you but when I am going through a hard season, sometimes it can be easy to lose sight of God’s presence. Why? Because sometimes I struggle to reconcile how God is present in my life and yet He is not changing the situation.

I have been encouraged by the story of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead in John 11. When Lazarus got sick, his sisters Martha and Mary sent word to Jesus saying that the one He loved was sick. Then what did Jesus do? He stayed where He was two more days (John 11: 1- 6). Wait, what? Jesus your bestie is sick and you don’t leave everything and run to him? Matter of fact, Jesus you have the power to speak a Word from where you are and Lazarus would be healed immediately. But Jesus had a different plan. He didn’t heal Lazarus because He knew He was going to raise Him from the dead (John 11: 14-15).

Jesus turns up to Lazarus’ house and before He raises Him from the dead, He weeps (John 11:35). Some of the Jews who were there recognised that Jesus was weeping because of His love for Lazarus. (John 11:36). To know that Jesus would take time to weep over a situation that He knew He was going to fix has been very profound for me during this time. That we do not have a God who is absent but one who is in every way present in our lives. He is not a magician who comes, waves His wand, and the situation changes. He is the all powerful God who shows up in the messes of our lives and not only intervenes, He makes a point to show us that He cares, He has always cared and will always care about the situations we go through. Experiencing the comforting presence of God, even before my situation changes, has been one of the greatest benefits of this waiting season.

3. Perspective of God’s faithfulness.

I like to think that I have a photographic memory. Don’t ever get into an argument with me because be rest assured I will remember exactly what you said, date and time you said it, what colour of clothing you were wearing, the weather and even what happened before and after you said what you said. I would argue that this attribute is what makes me great at my job as a lawyer😏.

However, for some reason, whenever I am going through a rough season, I find myself forgetting all the ways that God has shown up for me in a previous season. I start panicking, feeling like I am going to lose my mind, wondering if, when and how the situation is going to turn around. In this season I am walking through, I have discovered the art of remembering God’s faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:20 – 23 says;

I well remember them,
and my soul is downcast within me.
Yet this I call to mind
and therefore I have hope:
Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness

Psalms 77:11-12 says;

I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago.
I will consider all your works and meditate on all your mighty deeds.”

I can give you tons of verses that highlight the importance of remembering. Remembering what God has done before, remembering how He came through in that situation that you thought was impossible, remembering the lesson you learnt from a previous hard season and above all remembering how great the sacrifice of Jesus dying on the cross was and the victory that He won for us, both now and forevermore.

We (maybe just me) often get surprised at how much the Israelites complained when they were in the wilderness. God had shown them time and time again How powerful He is (remember the Red Sea parting?) and yet they always seemed to forget and would get distracted and fail to offer God their full undivided attention and devotion. Well, I am not so different to the Israelites sometimes. It can be very easy for me to cry out to God in fear and desperation when I am going through something difficult and completely forget what He has done for me before.

So, I have made the conscious decision to write down and remind myself of God’s faithfulness in times past. How He has always been there for me time and time again. I would encourage you to do this as well. Whether in a journal, the notes app on your phone or even post-it notes, write down a time/times you saw God come through for you in the past.

You might say, well Victor, the situation I am going through is completely new and I have never had to trust God for this specific thing before. To that I say, listen to other people’s testimonies of how God has shown up for them and let them encourage you. If this is your first time trusting in God for a baby, read the stories of Hannah, Sarah and Elizabeth in the Bible who waited for children. Talk to mums and dads in your church and let them encourage you on their parenting journeys. You would be surprised how many people are able to speak life into your waiting season because they have gone through a similar season too. That’s the beauty of Godly community. We can “borrow” each others faith. I absolutely love it when my friends share testimonies of God’s faithfulness in their lives because 1. I get to praise God with them 2. I am encouraged that the same God who did it for them can do it for me (whether in the same way or completely different).

As I share these perspectives with you, please note that it’s not because I have mastered them myself. I am learning how to be intentional about shifting my mind from worry and fear to the above perspectives, sometimes daily, other times hour by hour.

While there is no guarantee that God is going to give us the outcome we want in the time that we want it, it is very comforting to know that His love, grace and mercy will always carry us through any season. I don’t know if my waiting season is almost ending or if this is just the beginning. All I know is that God is Sovereign and He is a promise keeper and in this very hard waiting season, I can lean on the encouraging words of Joshua 21:45

Not one of all the Lord’s good promises to Israel failed; every one was fulfilled.

Please share with me the lessons you have learnt/are learning from your waiting seasons. Always looking to learn from people who have gone through what I am going through.

Your friend in waiting😆,

Victor.