Something random happened – I was filling out a form and they were asking for my age – one check box had ’18 – 24’ the next one had ’25 – 29’. It was at this moment that it hit me. I no longer fit into the 18 -24 box. I just hit the big 2-5 y’all, whaaaat?

24^th June is usually International Victor Day😂 and this year is a special one. I mean it’s halfway to 50, I’m starting to save for retirement, I’m probably considered “ripe for marriage” (whatever that means) and being tired is just a normal feeling now. Life goes by so fast. Makes me think about Psalms 90:12 – A prayer for God to teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom and Psalms 34:9 “Show me, O LORD, my end and the measure of my days. Let me know how fleeting my life is.” That’s because it’s so easy to go through life just surviving and not really thriving. Worse still, living a reckless lifestyle without remembering how you live on earth determines where you will spend eternity.

This birthday feels different for me. Not in a quarter life crisis type of way but for the first time I am getting a grasp of what celebrating every year intentionally feels like. This new year especially comes with a lot of answered prayers, dreams that I have carried for a long time have been accomplished, successes I never knew were a possibility and immense favour from God. I have also gained a desire to look into the future with hope. I know there is so much that God has for my future and I can’t wait to see it – If I’m not dead then He is not done.

Would it be Victor’s birthday if Victor doesn’t share something deep? Absolutely not. Here are a few lessons I have learnt along the way (and some still learning) which have marked my life: (hint: most of these revolve around rest, slowing down and living in the moment – because that is the place I am at in life and I hope it lingers)

Run to the Father – I’ll be the first to say – I’m not perfect. Well, that’s obvious but over the years I have experienced highs and lows in my walk with God. Some days when I feel so close to God, some which I unfortunately choose my own way and become so distant. I am learning to run back to the Father time and time again. Psalms 34:18 reminds us that, “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” No matter how far you’ve gone, run back to the Father. He will always welcome you with open arms.

Learn to talk to God – I grew up in a Christian home and learnt how to pray from an early age. But it’s not until recently that I have learnt to just talk to God. To be in conversation with Him as I go about my day. Talking to Him like I would talk to a friend. Sometimes my prayers are not super formal or logical but I’m usually just pouring my thoughts to God, sometimes haphazardly.

Enjoy the mundane moments of life – I hate to break your heart but majority of life is not made up of big moments. Not the trips to Bali, or celebrating engagements and weddings or even buying new things. If you are anything like me, you have repetitive tasks everyday that are just part of the human experience. Making dinner, driving to work, doing laundry, working out, making your bed, you name it. Life is so short to wait for the big moments to enjoy. Why not dance to your favourite music while driving to work or catch up with your loved ones when your making dinner or come up with a silly song while doing laundry. Every moment we are alive is an opportunity to have joy. I’ve recently let go of my aversion to doing dishes because I am trying to find joy in it and if I can change, so can you 😂.

Stop and smell the roses – This is something I heard from the late Dr Lois Evans (Rest in Peace). It’s a reminder to live in the moment. We miss so many beautiful simplicities of life because we are constantly chasing after the next big thing. If you just live in the present, you will quickly realise that there is more to life than rushing to the destination. Next time you are taking a drive, stop at a random small café and order something. Sit there and enjoy it, don’t take a photo for Instagram, just sit, enjoy the moment.

Prioritise health and fitness – Let me tell you – when I was a bit younger (I’m still young), I wasn’t focused on living healthy. My parents made sure that we had a balanced diet every day and that we were well taken care of (God Bless them). I didn’t see the need to work out because I had ‘better things to do’ (an 18 year old has so much to do😂). I now recognise it’s up to me to take care of myself and to start doing it early enough. Over the last few years, I have learnt how to invest a reasonable amount of my time and finances in staying fit, eating healthy, and getting sufficient sleep. Getting older sometimes means your bones start popping and crackling. I will gladly take my Vitamin D and Calcium supplements because ain’t nobody got time for that.

I heard this quote from Pastor Aaron Burke of Radiant Church Tampa as he was explaining his reason for staying fit . It goes something like – I want to live as long as I can, with as much energy as I can to have as much impact as I can. This quote inspired me to have my own slogan ‘Stronger for Longer’ which is now my why for working out.

Forgive yourself – If I’m being honest, this has been the hardest thing for me. I am usually tempted to be very critical myself and sometimes I fail to give myself grace for when I miss the mark. I have tried and will continue trying to be better at this.

Slow down – (cue the song ‘Slow down‘ by Forrest Frank) – Our lives are going at a faster pace than they have ever been since the world began. We are constantly rushing to get to a place, multitasking, opening 100 different Internet tabs at the same time, scrolling Instagram multiple times a minute, and did I mention inhaling food (not actually slowly eating and enjoying). When was the last time you actually stopped, did the old school Breathe In, Breath Out for a couple of times? When was the last time you actually drove at the exact speed limit? When was the last time you got to work a few minutes and you had time to just chill? I recently read this – A goldfish has an attention span of 9 seconds, human beings now have an attention span of 8 seconds. We are worse than fish guys!! I don’t know about you but I refuse to be ‘fishy’😂(I highly recommend John Mark Comer’s book called the Ruthless Elimination of Hurry – it will really kick start your slowing down journey)

Rest doesn’t equal social media time – Do you find that everytime you are free, you reach for your phone and go into social media? Yeap, me too. John Mark Comer in his book mentions that the average phone user touches their phone 2,617 times a day. That’s how obsessed we are with our phones. Next time you are idle, pick up a book, take a walk, meditate. Anything but your phone. I recently bought a Colouring book for adults that I go through when I want to rest. It’s very therapeutic and a great stress relief and relaxation tool. I am also currently on an Instagram break for a whole year – seems crazy but I can tell you it is so rewarding.

Do not despise small beginnings – This is from Zechariah 4:10. Do not be afraid to start small. It’s often the small steps you take, that help you achieve the big dreams. Last year, I stopped going to the gym because I quickly realised that I was paying for it and never actually going (at that point it was no longer a gym subscription, it was a donation 😂. Instead I decided to buy a set of weights and do home workouts, free from Youtube. Now I have built the consistency and resilience to work out constantly, which is helping me achieve my fitness goals. Will I ever go back to the gym? Only time will tell.

Find what you enjoy and do it – I spent a lot of my teenage years trying to be like everyone else so that I could fit in. Partaking their hobbies so that I would be accepted. After years of self-discovery, I have realised that there are things that bring me so much joy, that are not what everyone around me enjoys, and that’s ok (Yeah, it’s ok to watch Christmas movies all year round!) It also frees me to not feel pressure to try every single new thing that comes up on social media (our generation has so much of that now).

Read books –

A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies. The man who never reads lives only one.” George R.R. Martin.

If you knew me in high school then you know how much I hated reading books (largely out of peer pressure if I’m being honest, because it was not considered cool). Over the last few years, I have discovered the particular genres of books that I like and I now really enjoy reading. I am in my 5^th book of the year (slight flex!). I am currently reading Susan Cain’s Quiet. If you are an introvert, this is a book that you will really enjoy

Give people their flowers when they are still alive – The best, sweetest, kindest words about a person are often said during their funeral, when they can no longer hear those words. Celebrate your loved ones NOW when you are still with them.

You are not late – Listen, I am a planner. I usually have Plan A, B, C and D and probably sub-plans inside those plans. I am the person to have 1 year, 3 year, 5 year and 10 year plans. But if there is anything I have learnt recently is that I am right smack where God wants me to be and I cannot plan my way through everything in life. God has not delayed, He has not forgotten me. The things that are happening now were always meant to happen now, regardless of my plan saying that they are 2 years late. God is so intentional about us that He knows exactly where we should be at every exact moment. Trusting Him is sometimes so hard but absolutely worth it.

I was hoping to get to 25 lessons but oh well! 13 would do for now. Please share some of the lessons you have learnt or are still learning. I would love to glean from your wisdom.

Till my next Piece, Peace.