As a man growing up, you are always told to “man up”. You are taught to bottle up your feelings because sharing them is a sign of weakness. I have had discussions with some of my friends and many of us shared the same sentiments about men crying. Growing up you would never see a man crying – In fact the only time you would see a man cry would be during a funeral, and that was sort of seen as the only “acceptable” reason why a man would cry. Men are naturally meant to be strong for everyone else. However, it is totally fine for a man to admit they are not okay and to be vulnerable about what they are going through. It doesn’t mean that as men we should now cry all the time but it simply means that we should share their emotions instead of hiding them.

Let’s dive in,

This year we have had an influx of suicide cases, most of them involving men. This is really alarming. As men, we are used to being quiet about what we feel or what we are going through. Often we hear ladies complain that their husbands/boyfriends don’t open up to them as much as they would like. Ladies usually share their emotions with fellow ladies who empathize with them and encourage them and only look for solutions much later. On the contrary, for men we usually share things if we know we are going to get solutions. For example, if I tell one of my friends that I am really struggling with cash, I expect to get a solution on how to improve my financial situation or at least get a small loan from him . If not, I better not say anything at all. Now this is the wrong approach.

Speaking out is not a sign of weakness. It is actually a sign of strength. As humans, we are not meant to do life alone. No man is an island. Suicide should never be the solution. I have been there before. I was at a point where I wanted my life to end, either by me ending it or any other way. Thinking that I should jump on a highway full of cars hoping that one would hit me, constantly wishing that I would not wake up the next day or even wishing that someone would just attack me on the road and stab me to death. Though I wouldn’t term what I was going through as depression, I was at a really low place mentally and was battling major suicidal thoughts.

I am not where I want to be mentally but I will be the 1st to acknowledge that I am not where I used to be. It is all about progression, not perfection. I would love to share some of the tips that helped me and that can help you too:

Man down – Pastor Carl Lentz once said that as men, we are often told to man up. Constantly urged to not say what we are going through because we are supposed to be strong for our women. However, the world would be so much better if we were urged to man down – To go down on our knees and ask Jesus (a fellow man) how to navigate through this life, To tell our women how we feel and be vulnerable with them. To cry if we need to – because it is therapeutic.

Prayer– There is power in the name of Jesus. Ask God to help you through any mental issue, however big or small you think it is. It doesn’t have to be a long prayer, it might be simply saying “Lord, Get me through this depression.Amen” or “Lord, fight this battle for me.” I know it is hardest to pray when you are going through a difficult time. Ask someone to pray with you and for you. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective – James 5:16.

Seek help – Faith without action is dead. Seek help from your loved ones or even a therapist. Therapy might be costly but there are different options available including free counselling sessions offered by some universities and churches and even online therapy apps which are way cheaper.

Positive affirmations – The Bible says that the tongue has the power of life and death. Speak life. Every morning when you wake up, tell yourself that You are conqueror, that you are healthy mentally, that You are who God says you are, that You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you. Slowly but surely, You shall possess what you confess and these affirmations will start manifesting in your life.

Distant yourself from triggers – If you know that a specific person or situation is the cause for your mental health issues, distance yourself from that. It might be a mentally draining relationship, friendship, job e.t.c. Separate yourself from such situations as much as possible.

Above all, check on your friends. If you wait for a guy to share what he is going through, you might be waiting a loooong time. When someone asks, “How are you doing?” we just give the default answer, “I’m fine”, knowing very well that we are not. Be intentional when checking on people. Ask specific questions like”How are you doing TODAY?, How was school today, how are you feeling mentally, are you happy in your relationship. This will help you to know how to specifically help the person and most importantly what to pray for.

Today being World Mental Health day, I want to remind you to Protect your mental health above everything else.

Wishing you Peace, health and joy.

As usual, feel free to leave a comment regarding this and if you would like to discuss even further, You can drop me an email: victorgeorge1998@gmail or shoot me a DM on Instagram: @thevictorgeorge

Praying for You,
Victor George.